You are my World
by Silwyna
Summary: Kara has lost what is most important to her.


Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Battlestar Galactica. The characters and the universe of the BattlestarGalacticado not belong to me. I make no profit from this story.

**You are my world**

**By Silwyna**

Kara was alone. She had never seen the hangar bay that empty before. Not a soul was to been seen. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the peaceful quiet around her.

"You could just take the Blackbird for a ride. No one would notice."

Startled Kara turned around and found Lee standing right behind her. She hadn't even heard him come closer.

"And where would I go?" She laughed at him.

"You could come and get me." He replied quietly.

"Come and get you? You're right here." She looked at him confused.

"No, I'm not." He smiled at her sadly. "But I really wish I were."

Suddenly Kara heard a terrifying scream from behind. Quickly she turned around but she could see nothing. The hangar bay still seemed to be empty. When she turned back to Lee he was gone.

* * *

With a start Kara jerked awake. She was in her bunk, shaking all over. It had just been a dream. Lee wasn't with her. And he never would be again because he was dead. Kara closed her eyes to force back the tears that were starting to well up again. She had been crying for the last three days. She couldn't go on like this. Ever since she saw the dot that showed Lee's Viper disappear from Dradis, she felt a despair that was slowly ripping her apart. She hadn't been able to do anything. Lee had been too far away from Galactica when the Cylons appeared. It was over so quickly that when the alert fighters reached his last known location there had been no sign left of the fight. Just a few parts of what was left of his Viper were floating around in space. And Lee was gone. 

XXXXXXX

A few hours later, Kara stood before the hatch of the briefing room. She was the new CAG now. She was supposed to tell the pilots what their job was and make them forget the fact that their former CAG, who had been one of the best pilots left in the fleet, had been shot down by the Cylons. She should act like the CAG but she couldn't. The second she stepped into the room, she would see Lee standing at the podium, giving some smug remark about her late arrival -- again. She would hear him giving the latest announcements and telling them some last minute changes to the roster. She witnessed this ritual every day for the last six months. This was_ his_ room. He was supposed to stand behind that podium. She couldn't just get in there and take it away from him even though he would never come back to claim this for himself again.

"Ahem, Captain ...?"

Kara turned around and saw Hotdog standing nervously behind her. She was a Captain now. Just another thing she took away from Lee.

"Tell them there is no change to the roster. That's all for today." She told Hotdog in a tight voice, and quickly walked away. Sighing, Hotdog stepped into the briefing room. It had been the same the last three days. Starbuck would find some pilot and tell him what to tell the other pilots. The way Kara was acting, it seemed as with Apollo's death, they had lost two pilots, instead of one.

XXXXXXX

Shivering, Kara stepped into the storage room. She closed the hatch quickly and sagged onto the floor. She could no longer stop the tears. This was all too much. Everywhere she went, every room she stepped into, she would see Lee. He had only been on Galactica for six months, but every single spot on this ship brought up memories of him. They even had been in this storage room together. The memory of this intimate moment between them completely overwhelmed her. They had been closer that night as ever before. It had been the first time they had made love. And it had been the last. She had felt like one with Lee at the time and she never wanted to let go of him again. She could still feel his hands on her skin; she could even feel him inside of her. And she could still hear him whispering in her ear. He had told her how much he loved her for the last time in this room.

The first time he told her had been right after her return from Caprica. And he had told her again every time he had held her tightly after one of her nightmares. All these times she had wanted to say it back, but she couldn't make the words leave her mouth. She had finally whispered it when she watched him walk away after their night together but he had already been too far away to hear it. Now she would never get another chance to tell him.

Crying, Kara curled up on the floor and closed her eyes to shut out the ever-returning images of Lee. For the past six months, he had been her world and now that he was gone, she had nothing left.

* * *

Kara stood in front of the Blackbird. Again the hangar bay was empty. 

"It looks as if it is just waiting for you to get in and fly away."

Smiling, Kara turned around to face Lee. "I knew you would be here."

"Why don't you just take it?"

"Why do you want me to fly the Blackbird so much?" Kara looked at him questioningly.

"Because they won't see you coming in it." Lee explained quietly.

"They?"

"I really want to go home, Kara." Lee looked at her pleadingly.

Again, Kara heard a scream behind her. She turned around but saw nothing but empty space. When she turned back, Lee was gone.

* * *

Kara awoke with a start and looked around confused. It took her some time to realize where she was. The realisation brought back all the painful memories she had been trying to suppress and she could feel the despair spreading through her body again. 

She thought about her dream. It was almost the same as last night. She didn't wonder about the fact that she was dreaming of Lee. She couldn't think of anything else but him since he died. But why was Lee pleading her to fly the Blackbird? That made no sense. She never had a conversation with him similar to that one. She sighed. This was just her subconscious playing tricks on her.

When she looked at her watch, she realised she had been in this storage room for over three hours. She had CAP in 10 minutes and she wasn't even in her flight suit yet. Normally the idea of getting out in her Viper sent jolts of excitement through her. Now, she had to force herself to even get into her flight suit. Being in a Viper was just too painful now. She had always loved to fly when Lee was her wingman. They flew together like they were one. It was just like when they had slept together, just in a different way. And she would never get that back. She tried to think of her last CAP with Lee. It had been two days before his death. She tried desperately to remember what they had talked about while flying next to each other. But she couldn't remember. She simply had forgotten. One of her last conversations she'd had with Lee and she couldn't even remember what he had said.

XXXXXXX

The CAP was completely uneventful. Kara didn't talk much with Hotdog, who flew as her wingman today. All she did was snap at him from time to time for no reason. She knew she was being unfair, but that didn't make her stop. When they got back to Galactica she quickly walked away from him. She couldn't look at him now. Either he would look at her accusingly for making this CAP a hell or his eyes would be full of pity. And that would be even worse. She didn't want pity. She wanted Lee. She wanted him back more than anything. And she knew she could never have that.

With tears in her eyes, she walked into the CAG's office. She still had to write several reports. She had only been CAG for three days and she was already running behind. Lee had always managed to get his paperwork done in time and in three days she had ruined that. When she stood in front of the desk she started trembling again. She just couldn't get herself to sit down. This was Lee's desk. Lee's office. She had his job, carried his title. She had taken on his life like she could replace him. But she couldn't. No one could replace him. He had left a big hole in her life and she just didn't know how to fill it again.

Taking a deep breath Kara turned around and left the office again. She would write the reports later. She couldn't concentrate on paperwork now. She went back to her bunkroom and pulled a hidden bottle of Ambrosia out of her locker. She had saved this for Lee's birthday next month. The thought made her even more depressed. Forcing back more tears, she sat down on her bunk and pulled the curtain closed. She didn't want anyone to see her get drunk. Technically, she was still on shift. If Lee were still here, he would have kicked her ass for getting drunk while on duty. But Lee wasn't here. And she just couldn't go on another second like this. She wanted to drown this pain and ambrosia had always helped her with that. It only took her a short time to empty the bottle.

* * *

Yet again, Kara found herself in the empty hangar bay. And of course, she stood directly in front of the Blackbird. 

"Lee, are you here?"

"I'm always here. Right by your side." The smile Lee gave her was so full of love that it made her heart swell with joy. But then his smile faded and a desperate expression flashed across his face.

"Kara, you can't wait any longer. You have to go now." He looked at her pleadingly.

"But I don't know where to go."

Suddenly they stood in CIC in front of a star map.

"This is where you'll find me." Lee pointed on the map.

Confused Kara looked at him. Then she could suddenly hear someone screaming again. But this time she didn't turn around. She knew now whose screams she kept hearing all these times.

"I'll come and get you as soon as I can." She promised Lee.

* * *

When Kara awoke, she ignored her pounding headache, kicked the empty bottle off her and jumped out of her rack. Her bunkmates watched slightly worried as she quickly ran out of the room. They hadn't seen her so spirited in days. 

Kara knew exactly what she had to do now. Lee was alive and he had told her where to find him. Of course there was the slight possibility that she was simply crazy and those dreams had been just that: dreams. But something inside her told her there was more to it. These past few months she had felt so connected with Lee as if they were soul mates. And if those dreams were real, then maybe they really were.

When she reached the hangar bay, she quickly walked over to Tyrol.

"Chief, I need the Blackbird ready to launch in one hour. I'll get it cleared with the Admiral now." She didn't even wait for him to respond. She left the hangar bay and quickly went to see Adama. It didn't take her long to get the Admiral to agree to a test flight. He was so relieved to see Kara showing interest in anything that he allowed it right away.

So one hour later Kara sat in the Blackbird on her way to the coordinates Lee had given her in her dream. She had ignored all calls from Galactica when she had powered up the FTL-Drive. There wasn't much she could have told them anyway. She didn't think there was a chance that any of them would believe that Lee had talked to her in her dreams and showed her the way. If anyone had told her that story she wouldn't have believed it herself.

XXXXXXX

Kara slowed the Blackbird down as the Basestar loomed closer. She managed to get past the patrolling Raiders unnoticed and docked under the Basestar. She used some new invention from Tyrol to cut through the shell with a minimal amount of noise. It still amazed her how Tyrol had managed to put all this new equipment on board the Blackbird.

When she entered the Basestar she tried to find the right way. Sharon had tried to explain to her how a Basestar was built from the inside but it was very different from how she had imagined it. It took her over an hour before she came to a corridor that looked like it could be the prison part of the ship. So far she had been lucky and hadn't stumbled upon any Cylons but she knew her luck could run out any second.

Suddenly she heard a terrifying scream from the end of the corridor—it was the same scream from her dreams. Kara swallowed hard. She had found Lee. Only seconds later two Cylons stepped out of one of the doors and walked away. She recognised one of them: the blonde bitch she had fought on Caprica. She had hoped never to see her face again. And she had prayed for Lee to never meet her. Obviously the gods didn't listen very often to her prayers.

Kara quickly hid behind a corner. She hoped the Cylons wouldn't notice her. Luckily, they took another corridor and left. Kara took some deep breaths before she ran toward the room the Cylons had left. The door wasn't even locked. That could only mean the Cylons didn't worry that their prisoner could escape by himself. Kara was suddenly very afraid what she might find behind that door.

Taking another deep breath she pushed the door open and quickly stepped in. She could see a figure lying on the floor, curled up in pain and shivering all over. He had cuts and bruises all over his body and was bleeding from several wounds.

"Lee?" She whispered as she quickly knelt beside him. When she carefully turned him to the side she could see his face. It really was him. "Oh gods, thank you." Her voice almost died away as tears of relief welled up in her eyes. "Lee, can you hear me?"

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at her in disbelief. "Kara?"

"I found you just like I promised. I'm sorry it took me so long but I'm gonna get you home now." She gently kissed him on the forehead.

"How'd you find me?" His voice was so weak she could hardly hear him.

"You showed me the way." She gave him a warm smile. Lee only looked at her confused.

"Can you get up?" She didn't want to spent any more time in this room. She just wanted to get Lee home as quickly as possible.

"I can try ..." He tried to take a few deep breaths to gather some strength but Kara could see that even this little move had increased his pain. She grabbed him carefully by his side and helped him get up. He winced in pain and was starting to double up again but Kara didn't let go, and after a few moments he managed to stand beside her. He was leaning heavily on her and was shivering even more than before. Kara had no idea how she was supposed to get him back to the Blackbird. He could hardly stand, let alone walk.

"Let's go." Lee whispered in a pained voice. He even managed to put a small smile on his face.

"All right then." Kara smiled back. Leave it to Lee to lead the way when she was already convinced there was no way left.

Slowly they started walking. Kara prayed to the gods that they wouldn't stumble upon any Cylons. The gods seemed to have listened this time. Or the Cylons just didn't walk around their ship very often. They had to pause several times and it took them over two hours to get back to the Blackbird but they didn't see one Cylon.

Kara was starting to get suspicious about that. This was all too easy. But she didn't have much time to think about it: Lee was visibly fading. She more-or-less dragged him the rest of the way to the Blackbird. He was breathing heavily and all colour seemed to have drained from his face. When he was finally inside the Blackbird, he sagged to the floor almost immediately.

"Just hang on a little while longer. We'll be back home in no time." Kara helped him to lean on the wall before she climbed onto the pilot seat. She quickly started the engines and left the Basestar behind. When she was far away enough she powered up the FTL-Drive and jumped back to Galactica.

XXXXXXX

"See, I told you I'd bring you back." Kara let out a relieved laugh when she saw the Galactica come in sight. She hadn't really expected to make it back alive. She had just wanted to see Lee one last time. When he didn't respond, she immediately turned around and looked at him. His head hung down on his chest and he wasn't moving. Concerned, she walked over to him quickly.

"Lee?" She shook his shoulder slightly but there was no reaction from him. When she felt for a pulse, it was so weak she almost missed it. His breathing had slowed down so much as to be hardly noticeable. "Don't you dare give up now, you hear me, Lee Adama? We're almost there. We're home, Lee. Don't give up." Kara could hear the Galactica calling her over the comm. "I'll be right back. Keep fighting! That's an order, Captain!"

She promptly moved back to the pilot seat and answered the Galactica. "This is Starbuck. I request permission to land. I have a medical emergency and need a Med Team waiting on the flight deck."

"Starbuck, Actual. What kind of emergency do you have?" Kara could hear the anger and concern in Adama's voice as well as the relief to have her back.

"Sir, I have Apollo on board. He's injured and lost conscious a few moments ago. But he's alive." She prayed he still would be when they reached Galactica.

"Starbuck, please repeat. Did you say you have Apollo on board?" Now all Kara could hear in Adama's voice was worry. He must think she had completely lost her mind.

"Yes Sir, I have."

"Permission to land is granted. The Med Team is on the way."

Relieved Kara let out the breath she hadn't even realised she was holding. Everything would be all right again. They would land on Galactica, the medics would take care of Lee and he would live.

As soon as she landed the ship, she walked back to Lee. If possible, he looked even paler than before. Worried she checked for his pulse again. She couldn't find one. She checked again and again but she could find no sign of his heart beating. Then she listened for his breath. He wasn't breathing anymore either.

"No ... No, not now ... Don't you dare leave me now. You have to keep fighting ..." Her voice broke as she couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her face anymore. She grabbed him at his shoulders and shook him again but he didn't respond to anything. "We're home, Lee. We're home. That's what you wished for." She could feel the anguish she had felt the last three days returning to her. This wasn't fair. The gods had given Lee back to her only to take him again a few hours later. She pulled him close to her and held him tightly. She didn't notice how the ship was carried inside the hangar bay or the hatch being opened. All she could think of was that she had to hold on to Lee because she couldn't loose him again.

When she felt hands pulling her away from Lee, she fought them at first. Only when she recognised Adama's voice telling her the medics would take care of Lee now, did she let him go. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe there was still something they could do! She watched the medics as they put Lee flat on the floor and started to resuscitate him. It seemed to be working because they put a tube into his throat and then they quickly carried him out. But the one medic never stopped the heart massage on Lee.

Kara quickly ran behind the medics as they rushed Lee to Lifestation. All she could think of was him. She had to stay close to him. She wanted to make sure he knew she was with him so that he would keep fighting. She tried so hard to concentrate on Lee that she didn't even heard the call for action station as the Cylons attacked the fleet exactly 33 minutes after her jump back to Galactica. She didn't feel the vibrations as the Battlestar took some serious hits and she didn't notice the commotion around her as injured crewmembers were brought to Lifestation. She just sat completely still in the waiting area -- waiting for anyone to tell her that Lee would live. That she hadn't betrayed the fleet again by stealing a military asset for nothing.

She was on the verge of breakdown when she felt someone taking her hands. She looked up and saw Adama kneeling in front of her.

"How?" He asked her in his usual calm voice. But she could feel the tension in him. He had grieved for his son for the last three days just like she had only to find out he had been alive all this time.

"You're never going to believe me, sir." Kara pressed out between sobs.

"Tell me anyway, Kara."

She hesitated only for a second. "He spoke to me in my dreams. He told me to take the Blackbird and he showed me the coordinates where to find him." She could see Adama wasn't believing her.

"Your dreams?" Adama looked at her doubting.

Kara let out a small laugh. "That's Lee. He always has a plan B."

Adama looked like he wanted to say something but suddenly the door to the operating area opened and Dr. Cottle approached them. Quickly Adama got up and turned all his attention on Cottle.

"How is my son?"

"I managed to stabilise him. He suffered from dehydration and slight malnutrition. He had severe internal bleedings. We were able to stop them but he already lost a lot of blood. He has three broken rips, a broken wrist, a concussion as well as several cuts and bruises. All in all his condition is still critical. We won't know anything for sure for some time. But if he survives the next 48 hours ..."

"If?" Kara cut in horrified.

"He's very weak, Captain. The blood loss alone ..." Cottle sighed. "He may not be strong enough to keep up the fight." Cottle felt sad for the two people in front of him. He knew that Lee was the only family they had left.

"Can I see him?" Kara asked anxiously. She needed to be by his side. Lee had always given her the strength she needed. Now it was time she gave that back to him.

"Of course. Nurse Wilkens will show you the way. I have to check on my other patients. We had quiet a lot emergencies today."

"Did something happen?" Kara asked confused.

Adama wasn't even surprised at her question. Had Kara known about the Cylon attack she would have been the first one in the air. "The Cylons put a tracking devise on the Blackbird. They attacked us shortly after your return."

Kara paled immediately. "Oh Gods, I had no idea. I never meant to ..." It dawned on her that the tracker was the reason they didn't put a stop to her rescue of Lee. Why kill only two pilots when they could attack the entire fleet.

"You brought my son back to me, Kara. That's the only thing important for me. He may not survive his injuries but at least he has a chance now, thanks to you." Adama looked at her in such a grateful way that Kara could feel she was about to cry again. Smiling Adama pulled her into a tight embrace.

XXXXXXX

Kara sat at Lee's bedside for the next 48 hours. His vitals had improved slightly the last 12 hours and Kara prayed for him to wake up soon. She needed to see his blue eyes open again, looking at her, loving her. She had held tightly on to his hand these 48 hours. She was tired, exhausted and could hardly keep her eyes open but she wasn't going to let go of him again.

* * *

Smiling Kara looked at Lee. Again they were all alone in the hangar bay. 

"You brought me back." He smiled at her gratefully.

"Did you have any doubts?" She smiled back at him. She took his hand in hers and tried to pull him a bit closer.

"Not once." He replied still smiling. "You can wake up now, Kara." He pulled his hand out of hers and started to walk backwards.

"Where are you going?" she asked him in a scared voice. She needed him to be close to her now. She didn't want him to leave her again. But he didn't reply and just kept walking away from her. Suddenly the hangar back was filling up with people again and she lost sight of him. "Lee?"

* * *

When Kara woke up her eyes caught with Lee's open blue eyes. 

"You're awake." She gasped.

Lee looked exhausted, numb and struggled to keep his eyes open. But he had finally woken up.

"You're sure about that?" He mumbled. His voice was hardly audible. He tried to squeeze her hand but was still too weak. But she noticed the small movement he managed to do. She never felt so happy in her life before.

"Unless we're both dreaming, yes, I'm sure." She laughed at him and gently stroked his face.

He gave her a small smile before his eyes closed again. "So tired ..." He mumbled before he fell asleep again. He didn't wake up for another 10 hours but Kara didn't mind. When she had told Cottle that Lee had woken up for a short time Cottle had smiled for the first time. Kara took that as a very good sign. Lee would be all right again. It might take him some time to heal but eventually he would be back on his feet and in the air. And Kara would be right by his side every step of the way. She would give him all the help he needed to get better.

XXXXXXX

Six weeks later Kara quickly stepped into the briefing room.

"Good Morning, Captain." Lee grinned at her. "Late as usual. I really don't know how you could have run this place for so long without it falling apart."

"Miracles happen." Kara replied smugly, giving him on of her trademark grins as she sat down on her usual seat in the front row. Smiling, she watched Lee hold his first briefing after his presumed death as if he had never done anything else. Her world had returned to her and she would make sure never to loose it again.

The end

A.N.: Once again a great thank you to Starbuck042786 for beta reading. As always you helped make this story so much better. I hope you all like this story. Thank you for reading and please review.


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